Today (December 12th, 2017) is my one year anniversary of being unemployed!
I mean I’ve had a few little jobs since then but it’s been a year since I’ve held a 9-5 type job in an office, with holiday pay, sick leave, and benefits. It wasn’t your typical office job though. It was pretty cool. I was the office manager for a creative ad agency (let’s call it “that agency”). The office environment was unlike any other I had ever been in. I was one of the few women who worked there. The rest of the crew were very opinionated, creative men who sat at computers in the back designing and debating all day.
I got to sit at the front desk, in front of a bright pink wall and handle all the administrative aspects of the company while the graphic designers and client relations did their thangs on the various projects we were working on. My favorite aspects of my position were reading scripts/ pre-screening our upcoming projects and writing synopses for everyone to read. We also had a fully (Trader Joe’s) stocked kitchen and got treated to coffee during the week and lunch on Fridays… Yum.
Sounds dope right? So why in the world would I leave a job like that?
Well, I didn’t exactly leave, but I didn’t make it apparent that I wanted to stay. Actually I was practically begging them to let me go without actually saying it.
I had gotten hired earlier in the year (February) and thought that I could really grow to love the industry and climb the ladder to a higher position down the line. Preceeding said job, I had held positions as personal and administrative assistants for years and thought I could really excel in an office setting.
Things started out great. I was really motivated and eager to learn more about the industry, but I always had this feeling deep down that I should be doing something else, something greater with my life.
I kept being called into my managers office for meetings to discuss my performance (or lack thereof) and couldn’t figure out why I was failing at my job. Ohkay, I mean there were some obvious reasons; like my lack of punctuality and social media addiction, but even when I would lock my phone away I still had a hard time getting completely focused on my work.
One night in September, I had to run an important errand (to Fed-Ex) for the CEO. Little did I know that errand would change the course of my life forever. I met an old man in the Fed-Ex line that tried to recruit me to work for him. My frustrations with my job led me to engage in conversation with that man and I later realized that he might be a pimp. Ew. Feeling guilty about my seemingly innocent interaction with the old sleaze, I went home and told my boyfriend.
That weekend my boyfriend (of 5 years) and I broke up…
Nonetheless, I continued to go to work for the next few months, but was devastated and heartbroken. I felt lost and purposeless and kinda blamed my job for what had happened. At the same time I suddenly felt more inspired. I’d always loved writing and singing but hadn’t felt so much emotion in such a long time. My breakup woke me up and I discovered that I was lacking self love and passion and wanted so badly to fill the void.
I became obsessed with music and the industry and thought that I should quit my job and pursue music full time. My desire to create was intense. I spent 65% of my time at work actually working, and the other 35% writing and recording voice memos for songs I was writing. I convinced myself and my manager that my heart wasn’t in the 9-5 life but didn’t quit because I knew I had bills to pay and didn’t have a plan in place yet.
On December 12th, 2016, I woke up with a new attitude. I told myself that I needed to refocus and do better at work so that I wouldn’t get fired… Sike. I walked into the office (on-time) and was almost immediately called into a room with my manager and HR. I pretty much knew what was going on and braced myself for those 2 dreadful words to be uttered to my face.
Ouch. It was JUST like ripping off a Band-Aid. It hurt, but it had to happen to allow for new growth.
Less than a month later, I was uttered 2 other (not so dreadful) words…
So, here I am now a year later, with a beautiful 3 month old daughter and the greatest job in the world. Being her mom. It’s a work from everywhere, 24/7 type of job and the benefits are infinite.
I learned that the key to so-called “unemployment” is gratitude. I thank God for my time at “that agency”. The experiences I had there are priceless and I still refer to the skills I obtained. My purpose there was greater than me. Today, the manager that fired me is one of my closest friends. My life is better because I was hired then fired by “that agency” and hired by God to be my daughters mom.
For that, I’m thankful.